Rude and Nude in Ireland

Rude Names, Naked Bodies, and All That in Ireland?

Queen Maeve - a very rude nude in Dublin, displaying her female form without a stitch of clothing, and not even using that bull's head to protect her modesty! Careful now ...
••• Queen Maeve - a very rude nude in Dublin, displaying her female form without a stitch of clothing, and not even using that bull's head to protect her modesty! Careful now ... © Bernd Biege 2014

Okay, so we all know that the Irish are ever so friendly. And that Ireland, as a Catholic (or Presbyterian) country is, on the whole, not given to wanton carnality, and shameless displays of the body. But ... you want your Ireland nude and rude?

Well, to be blunt: it is possible. Though in roundabout ways at times. And with some insider knowledge.

But don't fret, this is not the guide to orgies, insults, and bad behaviour generally (for that a sunny weekend in Temple Bar might be the best place).

This is an almost random collection of Irish rudeness and nudity. From art to skinny-dipping, from Muff to the Demon's Testicles. With some helpful hints added ...

Nude Beaches in Ireland?

To be quite honest, officially there are none. As in zero, zilch, nix. Because Ireland on the whole still has not developed a wholesome attitude to the human body on display. And the line between having a topless dip in the water (or getting a seamless tan on the beach) and being dragged into court for causing public offence is a thin (and not quite defined) one.

Yet here it is - the short guide to nudism in Ireland. Strip off at your own peril!

Public Nudity in Dublin

Having said that ... even without a bona fide nude beach on all the island, you can enjoy some very in-yer-face displays of public nudity in Dublin. Because it is art. Not only did some Irish lassies become famous for being very unclothed (witness La Belle Morphise and La Belle Irlandaise), but the capital is also host to a number of (mostly female) nudes.

For a different aspect of Dublin, have a good look at some nudity in artworks. Though some underwent a sex change.

Rude Place Names of Ireland

You might want to send a postcard home from Dicksboro, Doodys Bottoms, Fartrim, Lousybush, or even Nobber - that'll guarantee a few titters and admonishing glances.

But how about telling your ageing maiden aunt that you are now a fully paid up member of the Muff Diving Club, and have the t-shirt (as well as membership card) to prove it?

Indeed, Ireland has some very rude place names. Though, to be honest, none are as famous as that small Austrian village that shall not be named here ...

A Little Bit of Irish Strangeness

On the other hand: while declaring proudly that you climbed onto the Devil's Mother while holidaying in Ireland might raise an eyebrow. But just imagine you actually knew that the Irish name "Magairlí an Deamhain" (a hill in Connemara) had been mistranslated. And that the round, rocky surface you were trampling on actually were ... the Demon's Testicles?

So check out the strangest place names in Irish, often not translated for obvious reasons. Or would you like the skipper of a tour boat to direct your gaze towards the Dead Man's Penis?

On a More Serious Note

Now for something completely different, yet closely related in theme - sex in Ireland, having it, as a tourist. If you got all excited by the stuff above, you may well be up for some hanky-panky during your travels. And not necessarily with the person(s) you are travelling with.

So, to round off our short survey of nude and rude Ireland, here are some articles you should consider reading if you plan to be sexually active on an Irish vacation: