Cities With Dirty Names

Bet you can't say these places' names with a straight face

If there's one thing I've had to learn while traveling, it's that almost nothing is ruder than laughing at something you don't understand, be it a cultural custom, the local manner of eating, or bizarre fashion trends. I know I've bitten my tongue on more than one occasion to avoid coming off as insensitive!

With this being said, I'd have to bite my tongue pretty hard not to laugh if I found myself in any of the cities I'm about to list below, which have some of the most profane names I've ever heard. Can you keep a straight face?

  • 01 of 05

    Long Dong, China

    Hunan
    The only thing obscene about China's Hunan province is its beauty. Chensiyuan via Wikimedia Commons

    I thought we should start off with a city in a country whose native language isn't English, which is to say where the profanity is completely inadvertent. (As it often the case in China, where mistranslations frequently lead to obscenities in otherwise benign situations, such as at restaurants or on children's clothing.) 

    The ironic thing about Long Dong, a city located in central China's Hunan province, is that is Chinese name roughly translates to "cave" which, when seen through even a mildly dirty lens, suggests a different gender altogether than a dong, long or otherwise, but quite dirty nonetheless. Some truths are universal!

  • 02 of 05

    Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington

    Whiskey Dick Mountain
    Few things are less obscene than wind turbines. Anna W. Jacobs via Wikimedia Commons

    Directing our attention to the United States seems to eliminate the possibility that a name like "Whiskey Dick Mountain" could be lost in any sort of translation. In this case, it's probably that the people who lived during the time when Whiskey Dick Mountain got its name were less dirty-mind than us.

    Regardless of the origin of its name, Whiskey Dick Mountain is home to some of the most beautiful wildflower pastures in Washington state, as well as a large wind farm. The dirty name of this town will be the farthest thing from your mind as you explore everything it has to offer! Although I would imagine you can have some whiskey during your visit—can't comment on the other part.

  • 03 of 05

    Three Cocks, Wales

    Three Cocks
    These may be the prettiest three cocks you see your whole life. Independentcottages.co.uk (via Creative Commons Image Search)

    The question of the native language of Wales depends upon whether you ask a Welshman or an Englishman, but the name "Three Cocks" (Aberllynfi in Welsh) is probably just as obscene to a Celt as to an Anglo-Saxon. Actually, I don't know about that last part, but it sure does look pretty here.

    Photo tip: Find a male chicken and pose with him for the ultimate literal travel picture. Even better – find three of them!

  • 04 of 05

    Sexmoan, Philippines

    Sexmoan
    Even though Sexmoan isn't called Sexmoan anymore, rumors are that this sign still exists. Sablay.net via Creative Commons Search

    Technically the city of Sexmoan, located in the Philippines' Pampanga province, isn't called that anymore. Since early 1991, it's been called Sasmaun, which more closely corresponds to how the name is actually supposed to be pronounced in the Filipino Tagalog language. Being that English is so widely spoken in the Philippines, I imagine a lot of locals became embarrassed or even ashamed due to this name.

    (I assume the change is due to dirty-minded Westerners like myself, who still find it funny 23 years after the fact – and I do still find it funny, even if I was in first grade the last time it had its dirty name.)

    Continue to 5 of 5 below.
  • 05 of 05

    Beaverlick, Kentucky

    The last item on our list (for now) has perhaps the most literal reason for its somewhat obscene name: Beaverlick, Kentucky was an important fur trading post in the late 18th century.

    These days it's simply an unincorporated part of the state's Boone Country, located near the Ohio River, where I imagine you can lots of beavers licking to their hearts' content. If you're lucky, you might even see the beavers at their dam – I suppose it would be called the Beaverlick Dam(n), which is actually two curses in one. 

    The good news is that since beavers aren't commercially trapped for their furs anymore, those who still live here are sure to be happy, whether they're licking their lips after having enjoyed a fresh meal, or simply for being alive.